Top This, Cedar Point


There’s a new way to cause yourself to make involuntary high pitched noises! It’s called Goliath, and it’s nuts. It’s the new wooden coaster at Six Flags in Illinois, and it’s got three new records as the tallest, fastest, and steepest wooden coaster in the world. It sports a 180 foot drop at 85 degrees, and a top speed of 73 miles per hour. Plus it flips and corkscrews and basically undulates through the park.

Here’s the deal though:  it’s wooden, and the thing with wooden coasters is that they’re a little rough.. you go to Cedar Point and ride the Mean Streak and when it’s done you’ve got 2 broken legs, a crushed spine and your spleen’s been removed. I don’t want to go 73 miles per hour straight down on a wooden coaster. Apparently they’ve built in some kind of new track system to keep it a little smoother and that’s great, but here’s really why this thing is a great idea… you know Cedar Point’s prairie dogging this thing.

What? Someone else built a bigger roller coaster? EH? That’s our game!

Cedar Point don’t take no guff, so you KNOW they’re just going to go bigger now, which is cool for those of you who like to be hurled toward the Earth on what’s essentially an out of control train.

If you want the tallest, fastest, steepest, wooden coaster ya gotta drive to Six Flags in Illinois, but I bet not for long…